Contexting

Unique (Like Everyone Else)

Hipster is in. Urban, trendy, Mac-using, microbrew-swilling, liberal, angsty, peaceniks are on the move. They're dropping out of their career paths to start new businesses, write smart articles, and look for identity in the global village. You've probably run into them at your local coffee shop. They're the tattooed retro-geeks who sit around and talk politics and philosophy over a cup of sustainable, free-trade organic coffee. They are a tribe. They choose to belong to the thousands of other hip cats that collectively search for culture and identity. The price of admission is a Barack Obama hoodie (one size too small), an artsy side project, and and hour or so listening to NPR. If you're in between tribes right now, you should consider joining. This crowd is where the conversation is happening. It could use someone like you. 

Ask For Help

Maybe it's the desire to not be a burden on anyone. Mayne it's pride. Maybe it's the attitude of, "I'm here to minister, not be ministered to."

Whatever the reason, missional Christians rarely ask for help from the people they're trying to know, love, and serve. It's a shame, though, because asking for help can be an excellent way to get to know people. Personal influence can flow both ways, you know.

I'm not talking about asking for handouts (that's second nature for many believers.) Neither am I saying that we should make up a "need" for our friends to meet. The truth of the matter is that all of us have needs, and all of us need to be useful and helpful and needed. Asking someone for help allows you to demonstrate the value of community. It shows humility. It makes a relationship a partnership.

Some areas in which you might consider asking for help:

• Looking for friends in the area (guys to watch games with, play frisbee, video games, etc.)
• Throwing a party (BBQ, birthday, holiday, no reason)
• A job around the house
• Learning a skill (carpentry, scrapbooking, training a dog)
• Understanding a concept, idea, or world event
• Help watching the kids
• Finding a group of people to study the Bible with

Be sure to avoid asking for money, overwhelming your friend, or becoming a pain in the neck. You don't want people to run when they see you coming.

Good luck.

Uncool

Contexting is not trying to make yourself, your church, or your faith into something cool. Your church will never be cool enough. Ultimately, it is a gathering of people who are called to live (and die) for Jesus among people who find that idea ridiculous.

Contexting is doing the work to insure that the Christianity you live out communicates spiritual reality (our need, God's provision in Christ) to the people around us. It means publicly working out your salvation, allowing others to observe, experience, and (hopefully) be blessed by our faith.

Just wanted to make that clear, lest anyone think that coolness is the goal.

Debate

It used to be that you could convince people through debate. Poke enough holes in the logic of your opponent's argument, and it's left untenable. Expose an error, inconsistency, or contradiction, and the other guy loses. Their side is left with no choice but to abandon their position and agree with yours.

Not anymore.

These days, people aren't convinced through debate. Present someone with all the facts and verifiable evidence in the world, and they'll still believe what they want to believe. That's not to say that you can't be convincing. You can. But being convincing is a lot different from being good, right, logical, honest, or articulate.

The presentation is as important as the content. Marketers know this. Lawyers know this. Politicians are all about this. Too bad Christians don't get it. They're still busy debating. They try to prove God's existence (no faith necessary!) or pit facts against hype. They get "Amens" from those who already agreed with them, and objections from those who didn't. Nobody is moved.

If you really want to convince people that they need to have a relationship with God through Jesus, add scripture to your conversation (chapter and verse not necessary). According to scripture, faith comes by hearing the word of the Christ. While it sounds foolish to some, the gospel has the power to change people's minds.

Explain Why

If you explain to your children why they're being disciplined, they might not like it, or even understand, but they'll learn.

If you explain why you pray before a meal, your dinner guests will learn something about your relationship with God.

If you explain to your employees why they have to do what you're asking them to do, you may see some enthusiasm.

Explaining why we listen to a sermon every Sunday at church (even if there isn't a good explanation,) will help your churchgoers see value in your teaching style.

There may be no good explanation for why we spend time over the holidays with loved ones we hardly know, but an explanation of the thought process that got you there will help your family understand you better.

An explanation of why you don't mix baking soda and vinegar will keep you from having to clean up a big mess.

Explaining your thoughts on a political, social, or theological issue will demonstrate that you're not just mindlessly regurgitating what you heard on talk radio. Or it might prove that all you're doing is mindlessly regurgitating what you heard on talk radio.

Unexplained rules, traditions, actions, routines, expectations, and protocols have no meaning. Take time to explain the whys, and people may start to value what you do.

Intentionality

Being missional means being intentional. It means that you do whatever it is you do with a sense of purpose (1 Corinthians 10:31). It means thinking through the implications and ramifications of what you do and how you do it in order to live in the fullness of what God's intentional plan for humanity. Most of the time, our selfishness gets in the way of our purpose. Things like ministry and sacrifice don't usually happen on accident.

Intentionality begins with constant contact with God (1 Thessalonians 5:17). If you want to have Him guide what you do, you ought to listen to Him.

Sure you contemplate the big things. Major decisions, big purchases, life-and-death sorts of things. But intentionality should apply to the little things, too. Where do I buy groceries, and what do I buy? Is the lowest price my highest value, or is good stewardship more complex than that?

What you do affects other people. You never get to stop looking for win-win solutions to life's problems. If you truly understand your role as an agent of redemption in your community, your bottom line can't be your own well-being.

Good or bad, you're setting an example. People are watching you. They see when you leave a mess or waste time or cut in line. Life is public, and if you're intentional about it, you can communicate a lot about what's important, and what's right by your actions and attitudes.

So be intentional. If you don't do things according to your (God's) purpose, you'll end up doing them according to someone else's.

Becoming a Coffee Shop Regular

Maybe you've heard people talk about hanging out in a cafe as a way to missionaly engage their community. I think it's a wonderful idea, but it needs to be thought through a little bit in order for it to be effective. Just hanging out in a coffee shop does not make you missional. It does make you a loitering consumer. Ask anyone who's ever been a barista- there are "regulars" and there are "regulars." You want to be the right kind of regular. 

The Annoying Regular- this is the guy (or gal) who comes in every day at the same time, and always orders the same thing. Of course, he complains when his drink isn't made just right, so he's seen as kind of a jerk to begin with. He talks quite a bit with the staff, but it's always about himself and during the really busy times. He hogs a large table, and uses the free wi-fi for hours on end. He's the bad kind of regular- he doesn't do anything wrong, but he doesn't add to the shop's sense of community. This is not missional.

The Refreshing Regular- this is the guy who comes in "all the time," but isn't using the shop as a second office. He's open to trying anything on the menu board, and while he's not afraid to have an opinion about coffee, he's never condescending or demanding. Like is annoying counterpart, he talks with the staff, but his conversation always seems to center on the shop and on the community. He's sensitive to the customer rush, and always sits at a smaller table. He might bring his laptop, he might read, but he's always aware of what's happening around him. He sees himself as a paying partner in the coffee shop rather than a customer. He's the kind of regular that make a cafe a social "third place " that everyone can enjoy.

Guess which one has influence? Guess which regular is going to be allowed to have his small group meet in the back during business hours or even in the front after hours? Guess which one is getting free coffee? Guess which one gets asked to help meet needs and counsel people in crises and help pick out the new t-shirt design?

The same one who isn't doing it in order to have "influence" or for a free meeting place or for free coffee. He's a leading member of his community, and he's trying to put his faith into practice outside the walls of a church building.

p.s.- make an effort to frequent a locally-owned coffee shop!

p.p.s.- ride your bike or walk!

The Funny Smell of Wisdom

You might feel "called" to be the rockstar pastor of painfully hip twentysomethings, but to have a healthy community of faith, you need old people. I know you just got finished running the blue-haired, stretch-jeans set out of your church so that you can finally take your denominational affiliation out of your church's name, but guess what? You need older people.

It turns out that the dentures-and-bifocals crowd has more to offer than pot-luck casseroles and a mention in their last will and testament. According to the scriptures (Job 12:12), age means wisdom. Spiritual insight. Knowledge of scripture. Life experience. Money management skills. Support networks. In short, old people are what your church should want to be when it grows up.

Let's face it- you could have used some of that wisdom before you made the decision to pay your staff based on "performance," or take out that $7.8M loan to build a Christian shopping mall on your megacampus. Your problem now (besides a lying staff and lots of debt) is that your church is designed to attract a young crowd that repels the elderly people that you desperately need. 

 Here's a suggestion: head downtown to the "First (denomination of your choice) Church" of your town, and scout for some cane-and-walker-types that might be willing to join you. Listen to a couple of stories. Ask some questions. Think of the validation older folks would feel to have a young whippersnapper like you ask for their help. Take them to a late lunch (dinner for them) and share the vision of your church. Outline what you think they might be able to do for your church. Prepare them for any piercing/tattoos, loud music, or shorts and flip-flops they might see in a typical church meeting. Pray with them.

Adopting some grandparents for your church might be the best move you could make. Their participation in your spiritual community will mold your church members in radical ways: They will learn to respect and honor wisdom (you're setting an example by inviting the seniors to join you), and to appreciate diversity in the church body. You will stand up to the youth-worshipping mainstream culture, and your church will insure relevance to all the people of your community. Best of all, your church will benefit from the wisdom of God's design.

Celebrate Someone Else's Holiday

 

Romans 12 tells us to bless those who persecute us, and to rejoice with those who rejoice. Andrew Jones suggests throwing parties and telling stories. Being missional means sharing life with people. Evangelism, discipleship, mentoring, accountability, church, service- these are relationships. If you really want to get to know someone, try celebrating their holiday.

It's not the same a celebrating your holiday- you bring your own sentiment and tradition to familiar special days. Observe a holiday that is foreign to you, however, and you're forced to adopt the attitude of those with whom you celebrate. It is a profound way to connect with a person.

Most cultures have days reserved to celebrate independence (or attempts at independence) days to remember the dead. Many commemorate significant events in their history. Different people celebrate in different ways- some are reserved, others throw tomatoes. Try doing a little research and asking a friend about his holidays. Ask if you might join him in celebrating.

Beware, though- some celebrations might fall outside what your conscience will allow you to do. Some holy days call for  eating special foods or drinking certain drinks (usually just tea or wine, but you never know) and others call for dancing, singing, wearing traditional garb, war reenactment, or stripping off your clothes and sitting in a sweat lodge. Be sure to ask questions, (especially if there's any worship involved), and be respectful. Don't assume to understand, but enjoy rejoicing with your friend.

Dr. Thom Wolf says that Christians have the greatest influence by making themselves available to friends and acquaintances, especially during times of rejoicing or times of mourning. I agree. I've seen first-hand the value of celebration. I encourage you to give it a try.

Get A Real Job

You need a job. A real one. Not just for the money- you need friends, you need discipline, you need to go through what everyone else in the community goes through. Without a real job- something people think is valuable and worthwhile- you have no credibility. It's easy to ask people to give of their time when your time is all your own. Try putting yourself in the working man's shoes, and you're expectations will be tempered with a little bit of reality.

Of course, you don't have time for a full-time gig. You're not looking for a career. If you're looking for flexible part-time work, try this:

1.Check the local classifieds on craigslist.com. You'd be surprised how many people are looking for "secret shoppers," or "community center helpers." These jobs may not be the coolest, but having one will instantly make you more accessible and understanding. Remember- a volunteer or temporary job could easily turn into something more stable (and lucrative!) if you commit to doing it well.

2. Write a quick blurb about yourself and what you're interested in, and post it on craigslist. Kind of like a mini resume, but without all the stuff you make up. Be pretty specific about how many hours you want to work, and what you're actually capable of doing. Who knows? Maybe you will find someone out there who's looking for an Xbox master who knows all the words to every television theme song from the early nineties.

3. Buy and sell stuff. I know there are thousands of Ebay/garage sale freaks out there, but they are making money. Here's how it works- you're all over every yard sale, liquidation, estate sale, pawn shop, and junkyard looking for anything that someone in another town might want to buy. You buy it, clean it up, and post it on Ebay. This works especially well if you focus on collector's items, like cameras, coffee cups, retro-tech, lunch-boxes, etc.

Hapy job hunting!